With very heavy heart I came back to this blog,
a little over a year now, to record what has happened..strange I cant find the couple of spiral notebook of daily notes I wrote everyday in Aug 2012...
Wes and I had to head back home on July 28th , 4 days after Emily came home. I know Lara is so upset and me too but Wes was in such great pain, I even took him to a local Urgent Care on 24th, which they gave him muscle relaxer and a light pain meds. He going home with or without me and I felt something is wrong, so I drove him for 2 days back to TX and took him back to back specialist on July 31st. They recommend seeing a back surgeon to discuss problem and gave him shot and more stronger meds to get him thru til he see Dr. Parks on the 8th.
That night on July 31, I took Wes to ER with undescribable pain across his lower chest and top of stomach... after hours of tests and exrays, etc dr came in and said most results are in a high normal range except for one blood test CA 9-19, was extremely high, a normal count should be 40 to 50 and Wes's was 151 THOUSAND...OMG
Wes joked feeling better, "well you know Im a Texan and we always do these big here" ... Dr said he was going to admit him for further test and Wes said Ok ...so off to the second floor we went and got him all settled in... I was sent home at 4 am to sleep but I was back by 8 am..Wes looked tired and he didnt sleep well, had a people in and out doing some kind of test almost every hour... I went back home and got his Cpap machine and bag of meds for nurses to write what he was taking ,,,We had Dr. Sanchez the hospital dr.. he not saying much...
Aug.4th.. Its been 3 days of testing and this DR. Kingman general surgeon cames in and say they will be doing a bladder test and a biospy on his liver...and probably put in a port...??? We ask Why?
He tells us that Wes has spots on his liver, pancreas and right lower lung...the test would confirm if its Pancreas Cancer or not... WHAT??? and a Dr. Argawal -oncolgist would come in to talk to us after the tests are done... Wes and I just looked at each other... tests showed bladder good and prostate ok, liver biospy showed cancer. Port also put in on left front of chest. Dr A did come in and discuss tests and treament options... Wes said YES he wanted to try chemo. if it would help slow it down ..and Dr. A said he would be able to give us specifics on what we were dealing with at our appt on the 16th,... Wes was released out of hospital Aug. 7th...told to continue regular life and eat and do what you want...
Wes seemed to be having trouble with his breath, I called our regular Dr. Hamilton, Dr. K, and Dr. A ,,, no reply..I went and bought a wedge at medical supply store, to give him more lift and support, That seemed to help little bit..
FRi. Aug 10th took Wes to ER cause he was throwing up and having dry heaves..Had to take him in about the 11th for breathng problems..kept him few hours, more exrays, and gave breathing treatments...a nurse came in and asked how much I knew about this cancer...and the process and what is ahead.
It has already been such a roller coaster, Wes and I have done alot of talking, Wes did most of the talking as I listened, his just in case he dies earlier than predicted, his desires and things he wanted and wishes for me to do. I am so thankful that he was able to talk with Pastor Leslie about his salvation and his recomittment his life to Christ. I know where he is now and it brings me comfort.
Aug16th.. Wes is like a OLD man, and having trouble bereathing..even Danny was concerned and ordered on line Sport bottles of O2.... Went to Dr. A appt first. He told us that Wes test showed he had advanced stage 4 Pancreas Cancer and that it matazsized to his liver, pancreas and right lung. He probaly has about 4 months and to get everything we need to do started... Asked about O2 and dr said he didnt need it cause his oxygen level was 92... We set up to start a light round of chemo for the following week... We missed Dr. K appt and had to wait til 1:30 ... He checked the incisions and prt and gave him the all clear..I fquestioned again Wes shortness of breath and asked for a order for oxygen...Dr K said no he number are good and medicare doesnt OK that ... I thougth to myself , IM going to go to Medical Supply and buy it myself. Took Wes home... he doesnt eat but sleeps alot...
Friday Aug 17th..Danny is off today ,he came and spent the day with Wes..They watched TV on Wes new TV and ate chili fritos and tea. Wes had a good day...
Aug 18th, Wes is tired today so I went out and did little bit of yard work and went back to check on him ,,, he cant breath ..off to ER we go..Wes signed a DNR cause of his condition and they admit him. By Sunday afternoon, they have Wes in Intensive Care for blood clots on lungs...O2 set on 4..We are there for 3 days... treatments are working and see improvement... moved back to regular 2 nd floor...
I find out thru the newspaper that our regular doctor has resigned from his practice and I need to find a new doctor...It5s recommended that I call Dr Rodgriuz and see if he will take us.. He is also chief Dr of hospice,,Hand in Hands.. He say yes...
Dr Sanchez wants to send Wes home the next dayThurs and Wes panics,(,he hasnt been able to get out of bed, lost his strength and 02 is on 3 he say hes not going home without oxygen! and I agree and talk to Dr. S ),,, On Thurs Dr Sanchez tells Wes he is doing better and will go home for sure on Fri. Dr A comes in and talks with us and tells Wes he thinks Wes needs to wait to he get a little better before we set up his next appt... then asks what kind of health care have I set up at home for Wes...HUH??? He suggests Hospice would be better than Home Care, since they only come 2 x week. .. A social worker came in to talk with us ... we decide to go with Hospice and I picked Hand and Hands... Hand and Hands repre come and talked with us half hour later and sets up to go set up for Wes return home. Hospice is at the house by 11 am and has bed and O2 and potty chair, shower chair etc set up... Dr releases Wes at 5 pm Fri, Aug 24th...had to call Hospice to bring a bottle of oxygen for Wes to be able to go home..they were there in 5 minutes.. and 2 Hospice nurses were there waiting to help get Wes settled in and set up meds etc... Cant say enough good things about Hands and Hands...
It was a long night and Wes was up couple times... Up Sat at 6 am and helped him with a little bit of washing him up and fresh clothes about 8 am. As Wes stood he said he was sorry, this wasnt what he wanted for us. It would be our last itimate moment as he said he loved me and I was the best thing in his life, with that he gave me a light kiss and hug, with tears in both our eyes we told each other how much we loved each other.. Oh how I wish for one more moment with him, I miss his hugs, kisses and so glad I was able to tell him I love you too ..
My friend, Jackie came at 10 am to watch him so I could go fill Wes prescription...Wes wanted in his wheel chair and watch TV in livingroom...I was gone and back in 45 minutes...Came in to find Mr. B helping him in bathroom.. I got him cleaned up and we put him to bed.. Mr. B left room and I asked Wes if he was hungry and he shook his head no , he was thristy...I went around the bed for his water and I heard him say Ahhhh!. I turned to him and said what wrong? ,,and he was gone!!!!
Aug. 25th 2013 at 12:08pm and he is GONE!!! Oh my heart still hurts... God please help us get thru this..The kids and Wes sister all came and we buried Wes at Hamilton Beeman Cemetery in Retreat... in the state that had his heart.
Once a Texan always a Texan
